Official White House photo of Barack Obama, the 44th president

IF, I go to another wack-ass club in Los Angeles and hear another Wack ass Dj, playing some shit that doesn’t work and he or she doesn’t get, I am going to BUM  RUSH THE SHOW!!

Here here a list, Hell a guide for you wanna be Dick Jockeys:

1.) If you are on playing Cd’s and mp3’s, Yet you keeping spinning your wrist like you are Scratching – you are a “Dick jockey”- Give it up you, If u wanna be Criss Angel- then you should have highlights.

2.) If women are standing around looking bored as shit- it’s not the fault of the fellas in da club,                   – it’s You Dick Clark- . Women will dance in prison if there is good music. Bite your confused Lip and play Beyonce’s “Crazy In Love”. Trust us All women look good doing da Beyonce booty dance.

3.) If the fellas are standing at the bar buying crazy Drinks, it is because your music suck’s like and Oreck. It’s is tricking if you got it, and quit making me spend my 401k, trying to get smashed so I can will myself on the dance floor and twirl to George Kranz “ultra German” re-mix.

4.) If you automatically spin M.I.A’s  ”Paper Planes” then you mix it with “Swagger Like Us”. You are the Chuck E. Cheese paint by numbers, of the Dj world- Hmmm, My semen wouldn’t even be that predictable. You suppose to be a Dj’ – originality is a requirement.

5.) If you don’t have any Black Friends – you are not a DJ, – you are A Gonad with and Ipod and  a Gnarls Barkley playlist. Now take your vodka cranberry, spill it in your eye, and step aside, for the Asian homie with the Techniques !200’s, still fresh with the DEF JAM sticker on the side.

(1) We use words like Gotta.

(2) We are college educated, non medicated, non sexist, racist, and we love our mom and dads. (Can you say the same?)

(3) We believe in A Fair Utopian Society, until it’s majority starts fuckin up.

(4) We not Saying OJ did, or did not, commit homicide- Only that a trial/jury acquitted him. (Look back at Rule #3).

(5) We are not here to just spout our opinions.  We believe in Truth, Honor, and Mutual Respect, those who Refuse to display any, We are going to call your AZZ to the floor, (And We Welcome The Same).

(6) We like run on sentences, besides Mathematics is the worlds only true Language.

(7) We think the way America treats it’s Elderly, and it’s Poor,  - Is A Shame!  (You have a 1 in

2 chance, of being either. We will do something about this. 

(8) Sometimes we will be a tad too Mean. How ever – you most assuredly deserve it for all the shit, you’ve done, that we don’t know about.

(9) Our goal is to be better: in our lives, to our wives, in our lies, in our hopes, in our faults, in our dares , and lastly in our prayers.  

(10) We except all comments and opinions:  But Don’t Fuck with us!